Wandering Soul

I had recently posted on my visit to Goa. My friends refused to believe that I could actually find a peaceful beach in Goa during winter, which is the peak season there. But yes, I did find one! Morjim, is what it is called.

And better than the beach, is the place where I stayed - Camp 69. Lots of people have asked me about this place, so this post is for all of you.

Camp 69 is an ensemble of log cabins, right across from Morjim beach. To reach the hotel, follow the signs to Montego Bay Resort, and when you arrive at Montego Bay, turn right along the road and around 200 metres down you will see Camp 69. If you use Google Earth, you can download the placemark (KML) for this place.

There are about 9 cabins apart from the restaurant, which is the central hub. The cabins are clean and spacious. The walls are made of wood, but the floor is tiled, which explains the cleanliness. All the cabins have attached bathrooms. They have a ‘running’ hot water facility, as in when you call for hot water, the boy from the restaurant comes running with a bucket of hot water None of the cabins are air conditioned, but believe me, with the cool sea breeze blowing, you won’t miss the a/c. The cabins are well spaced out, so there’s complete privacy.

The restaurant is the high point of this place. It’s an open hut kind of a set-up. The food is delicious and generous in quantity. It serves continental and Goan cuisines. If you want something that’s not on the menu, you can request the chef to make it for you, and he will be glad to do so. You can expect good music in the restaurant, especially old numbers.

The place is run by a local person, Bosco. All the staff is local Goan and the staff is really friendly and helpful. More importantly, the staff is trustworthy. They will help you out if you want to hire bikes to move around, or even if you want directions to some town. They also have safe-locker facility to keep your valuables and passport while you frolic on the beach.

If you want to enjoy a non-crowded, clean and peaceful beach in Goa, you should head to Morjim, and stay at Camp 69. In my opinion, it is the loveliest and most peaceful little hotel around Morjim/Aswem beaches.

On this day, thirteen years ago, Kurt Cobain ended an era in rock music and brought the music world to tears. The lead singer of Nirvana committed suicide by shooting himself with a shotgun. Although I am not a huge fan of Nirvana, The man who sold the world is one of my all-time favourite songs.

Cobain’s death came as a shocker to his millions of fans around the world. He was an intriguing personality, and equally intriguing was the suicide note that he left behind:

To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough.) I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!

May his soul rest in peace!