Wandering Soul

It was a case of miscommunication with my server admin. A minor oversight in my mail that wiped out my entire website! There was nothing left on the server, nothing at all. No blog, no photoblog, no website.

I was in a state of shock when I checked my website. I could see months of work going down the drain. It was a disaster. I did not know where to start. There was no way I could get my blogs back… Or was there?

I started thinking. And then I got a brainwave. Google should have most of the blog in its cache. That was the key. I promptly checked Google Cache by typing cache:blog.kedarsule.com in the searchbox. Lo and behold, there it was. I started checking the cache for each of my category. I could not get posts which were deeper than third page for each category, but whatever, I could get most of them back. One thing I could not get back completely were the comments, but then I couldn’t help it. I decided to make the most of whatever I could retrieve, and copied it into a word file.

Now that I had to put my blog back together, I decided to spend some time on the design front. So what you are seeing is the new version of my old blog. I have also created new categories for writing my travelogues. I have treated my photoblog to some design treatment as well. I also went on a naming spree. My blog is now called Wandering Soul and the photoblog is called Shades of Light.

So here I am, recovered from a major disaster. There are two main learnings here:

1. Be very, very careful while communicating with your Server Admin. Don’t take things for granted.
2. If you are stupid like me and manage to get your website erased, use Google Cache to recover as much data as you can. But please keep in mind that this method will work only for a short time after your site goes down. Because, once the Google spider crawls your website, and finds nothing there, it will erase your website’s data from its database.

I was missing in action for a long time, and for good reasons. I was preparing for the GMAT, and with the test now behind me, here I am, back on the blog.

I scored 710 (Q=48; V=40) on the GMAT. While I know my score is not world-beating, I am happy with it. A score of 700+ on the GMAT does give you an edge when applying to B-schools. If you are planning to take the GMAT and are unable to decide between the host of prep material out there, then let me make it a bit easier for you.

I had a mix of online study material and books. I referred to an online compilation of GMAT material to start with. It was brought to my notice by my buddy, Saumil. Unfortunately that site is unavailable now.

After that came the books and their accompanying CDs. I used Kaplan GMAT Premier Program, Princeton Review’s Cracking the GMAT and The Official Guide to GMAT Review 11. I should thank my close friend Anuj Kacker, who’s presently pursuing his MBA at The Indian School of Business, for lending me these books.

A week before the test, I downloaded the official GMATprep software from mba.com. The GMATPrep will give you an idea of what you can expect from the real test, as this software carries actual questions from earlier GMATs.

The best method of preparation is to practise solving the questions. Once you get comfortable with the various types of questions, then you’ll actually start enjoying the tests.

On this day, thirteen years ago, Kurt Cobain ended an era in rock music and brought the music world to tears. The lead singer of Nirvana committed suicide by shooting himself with a shotgun. Although I am not a huge fan of Nirvana, The man who sold the world is one of my all-time favourite songs.

Cobain’s death came as a shocker to his millions of fans around the world. He was an intriguing personality, and equally intriguing was the suicide note that he left behind:

To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough.) I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!

May his soul rest in peace!

And so are you! Yes, you. You control the Information Age. Welcome to your world.Don’t believe me? Check Time magazine’s website. The annual honour for 2006 went to each and every one of us, as Time cited the shift from institutions to individuals - citizens of the new digital democracy, as the magazine put it. The winners this year were anyone using or creating content on the World Wide Web.

The Great Man theory of history is usually attributed to the Scottish philosopher Thomas Carlyle, who wrote, “The history of the world is but the biography of great men.” He believed that it is the few, the powerful and the famous who shape our collective destiny as a species. That theory took a serious beating this year.

The magazine did cite 26 People Who Mattered, from North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il to Pope Benedict XVI to the troika of President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. And Richard Stengel, the managing editor, said if the magazine had decided to go with an individual, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would the likely choice.

It is not the first time the magazine went away from naming an actual person for its Person of the Year. In 1966, the 25-and-under generation was cited; in 1975, American women were named; and in 1982, the computer was chosen.

The 2006 Person of the Year package hits newsstands today. The cover shows a white keyboard with a mirror for a computer screen where buyers can see their reflection.

The Pope’s address on September 12 in Regensburg has opened a Pandora’s Box. Muslims all over the world are furious over the remarks made by Pope Benedict XVI in the German city. The theme of Benedict’s address were faith and reason, Christianity and Europe, the emergence of Islam as Christianity’s significant ‘other’, topics which did not require him to attack Prophet Muhammad and his teachings.

But Benedict went on to quote the 14th century Byzantine Christian Emperor Manuel Paleologos II:

Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.

And with this statement, Benedict undid 25 years worth of work that Pope John Paul II had done to build bridges with the Muslim community.

Before digging out things from the past, Benedict should have given a thought to the skeletons lying in his own closet. If he denounces Muhammad’s call to ‘spread by the sword the faith he preached’, then what about the Crusades, called the ‘Holy War’ by the Church.

In 1095, Pope Urban II called for a holy war against the Turks and Arabs, because they were in control of Jerusalem. He claimed that it was the duty of Christians to assemble armies under the sign of the cross and invade Palestine. To rouse European knighthood to war, the pope crafted rhetoric of racism. The Pope attacked them as infidels and demonized them on the basis of race.

Urban used religion as an incitement to genocide, while claiming to speak for God. The Pope promised that the sins of crusading soldiers would be wiped out ‘by the power of God vested in me.‘

The Christian army carried out unthinkable atrocities when Jerusalem finally fell to them. The crusaders slaughtered the city’s inhabitants: Muslims, Jews and Christians, men, women and children. The Franks’ own chroniclers admitted to killing 10,000, the mounted knights splattered in blood up to their hips. Their violence shocked the Muslims, who had peacefully allowed Christian pilgrims to visit Palestine for several centuries.

A second crusade was called when Muslim forces succeeded in retaking key ports and lands surrounding the Kingdom of Jerusalem. The call to war was spearheaded by the preaching of Bernard of Clairvaux, a prominent abbot who had been active in the Gregorian ‘reform’. This soon-to-be-sainted preacher continued Urban’s policy of promoting hatred of other cultures as a rationale for conquest:

The Christian glories in the death of the pagan, because Christ is therefore glorified.

Pagan to these men meant anyone but a European Christian, including Muslims and Jews as well as followers of old folk religions.

Well… with that kind of a legacy, Benedict would have been better off sticking to his theme without quoting some medieval emperor, who had been at his wit’s end trying to defend his empire from an invading Turkish army.